Figuring out what to tell your spouse after you decide that you want a divorce can be challenging. What statements should you use? What reactions can you expect? The concerns can be endless.
Here are three tips to help you initiate the conversation:
Plan what to say
Impromptu speech may not be the wise approach to a divorce conversation. Take time to be sure you want a divorce, and then plan what to say to your spouse. Your words/statements should be kind, brief and calm, and should depict you are sure about the divorce (be direct and clear).
Besides telling your spouse that you want a divorce, it can be fair to tell them why you want it. But consider using “I” statements when giving your reasons. Blaming your spouse for the divorce may be unwise.
It can be beneficial to write down your thoughts and then practice how you will deliver the message.
Prepare your spouse
Note that even if your spouse had noticed the marriage was not working, they may not have anticipated divorce. Therefore, do not start the conversation when talking about other matters, when your spouse is leaving for work or in the middle of a fight.
You can tell your spouse that you need to talk to them at a particular time. This can allow them to emotionally prepare for a serious conversation.
Listen to your spouse
Your spouse may have questions or concerns when you tell them you want to dissolve the marriage. They may even ask for specifics about certain issues. Provide brief answers respectfully. And remember, where possible, use “I” statements.
If your divorce conversation goes south, chances are you may have a challenging divorce process. That’s why you need to be well-informed from the word go.