Years ago, you and your partner discussed getting divorced. However, both of you decided to wait until the children were older because they were too young at the time. Even if your children are now adults, telling them that you are divorcing can be difficult. It’s important to remember that the news of their parent’s divorce can be just as devastating for adult children as it is for younger ones.
Regardless of their age, your children may feel like they are losing the family they have always known, which can be incredibly painful. Therefore, both parents should be present and express their love for their children while emphasizing that nobody is to blame. Approach the situation gently and respectfully to minimize the impact on everyone involved.
Having the difficult conversation
Try your best to be sensitive to your kids’ needs and provide the information they need. Nobody wants to learn that their parents are divorcing, even if you hope your children understand. Your kids may be unhappy or even furious. Be cautious not to diminish their emotions. Telling them the following may reassure them:
- Remind them that you will always love them. They need that reassurance now, more than ever.
- Tell them that they are not at fault. Make it clear to them that your relationship with your spouse is the only factor influencing this decision.
- Give them answers when they ask questions. Remember that your primary responsibility as a parent is caring for your children. Answer them honestly, but refrain from discussing the graphic details or throwing each other under the bus.
Understand that your adult children might struggle with the news of your divorce, regardless of their age. Give them enough time to accept this new reality and process their emotions. When you are ready to file for divorce, seek help from professionals who can guide you through the process.